Things don’t always work out. People get comfortable being afraid and nothing goes like you think it should. You get what, deep down, you expect and maybe that’s just because you are too afraid to turn it into what you want it to be. That’s why I’ve decided that thinking “If it’s meant to be…” is a dangerously optimistic. You are hoping things will happen, not making them happen. That’s a toxic way of going about living.

Just do it. Whatever it is, just do it. And don’t think twice, don’t hesitate, don’t look back.

Reading list for my independent study course with Leslie and the Honors College:

Stop Kiss - Diana Son
The Clean House - Sarah Ruhl
That Pretty, Pretty: or the rape play - Sheila Callaghan
Spike Heels - Theresa Rebeck
Crimes of Heart - Beth Henley
Trifles - Susan Glaspell
Desdemona: A Play About a Handkerchief - Paula Vogel
Topdog/Underdog - Suzan-Lori Parks
Conduct of Life - Maria Irene Fornes
The Children’s Hour - Lillian Hellman
‘Night Mother - Marsha Norman
The Feminist Spectator as Critic - Jill Dolan

I am stoked to be working with her through the summer. Also, working as a dramaturg for “The Importunity of Being Earnest,” a collection of short plays that will certainly be a contrast to The Importance of Being Earnest, which will follow this in the season in the Fall.

travel, learn, capture, smile, scream, jump, laugh, cry, dream, live, dance, believe, run, listen, experience, color, imagine, sing, question, learn, try, feel, fall, trust, explore, thank, love, trace, write, read, remember, teach, laugh, think, breath, draw, forget, forgive, care, act, meditate, live, watch, search, find, smile, admire, ask, argue, blush, inspire, influence, kiss, relax, lie, reflect, plan, whisper, live, BE.

There are half a dozen thoughts roaming around my head right now and the only thing that connects them is the fact that they are roaming around in my head right now.

One day, I’m going to travel to Prague, London, New York, and Italy. I’ll write plays, or work for Alpha Gamma Delta. Or, both. I could live in Boise, or maybe LA. I’ll marry a fraternity man with a good family and a beautiful mind, or an aspiring writer with a beautiful mind and a good work ethic. I could live on the Coast, somewhere in Carolina, and stare at the Ocean.

I don’t know why these all have to be either/or statements, but one day I may be able to piece together a life after graduation. People think too highly of me, and makes me think I can do it all. It’s nice, but I don’t know if I want to do it all. I don’t know if I can do it all. I don’t know how to do it all. 

Thank God, it’s summertime. At least, I can be neurotic while I ride around beautiful downtown on my bike, or sit in my favorite coffeeshops writing plays and poems, or reading and people watching.

“I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”

tripp89:

Be my Marlon Brando.

Feelin’ scandalous. No particular reason. Just kickin’ ass at finals.